Who Are You Really?

When’s the last time you thought about that?

If you’re a millennial or anyone near that age range then maybe you’ve been wondering the same thing. Who Am I? 

For many people reading this, there will be resistance, hesitation, and maybe even some self-projection. Maybe you feel as if you know who you are already and you’re wondering how this can apply to you.

As with anything, when you think you’ve figured it out, you fall down a rabbit hole. The same thing is true about how much you think you know about yourself. If you’re in the boat of not knowing anything about yourself then don’t worry, this advice applies to you as well.

The First And Maybe Even The Most Important Step:

I came across this concept while listening to a lecture by the brilliant Jordan B. Peterson, renowned psychiatrist and professor. He recommended that you look at yourself as someone who is worth helping. We have all been there for someone. We’ve all either successfully or unsuccessfully helped someone through some emotional problem. This means that we valued them enough to listen to them and offer advice that would be beneficial to them. Why should you treat yourself as anything less than being worth your own support and advice? The answer is, you are worth it and you should treat yourself as someone worthy of your time, effort, and analysis.

“Ben, that sounds like so much work!”

Maybe it is and maybe it isn’t. Have you ever tried? How much work will it be later to undo all of the bad habits that you could have nipped in the bud? How much future pain can you avoid by being better prepared now? It’s important that you actually answer those questions because they will help you see the value behind developing who you are.

Here’s My Last Point.

“Ben, you’ve set this up enough already so give me the details.” Okay okay, take it easy. I’m going to fill you in right now.

My grandfather Max Walton sold and taught elite decision-making skills to Fortune 500 companies for many years and he told me something I will never forget. He said, “Ben, there are basically two ways of understanding something. You have all the elements that do make something and you have all the elements that do NOT make something.” Naturally, I wanted to know who I was. I spent a ton of time trying to narrow down what I was first. It was difficult, to say the least. Until I realized that I should’ve started with who I wasn’t. It’s important that when you do these exercises that you write them down in your handwriting on paper using the statements “I am” and “I am not” because these language patterns mixed with your handwriting will have a profound impact on your neurology.

The key to doing this well is honesty. You can’t rule anything out at first. You must be open to extreme criticism from yourself.

This Knowledge In a Nutshell.

  • You must see yourself as someone worth helping and then help yourself as if you were valuable because that is necessary for you to change
  • You must narrow yourself down using “I am” and “I am not” statements written in your handwriting on a piece of paper because these language patterns have a big impact on your brain.
  • You should start with the “I am not” statements to define who you aren’t because it is easier.
  • You really should be honest about yourself when writing about yourself because people generally aren’t honest with themselves which causes them an enormous amount of pain.

Now go take massive action and I promise you will see results.

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Until next time friends,

Benjamin Walton


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